Removing furniture from the house

I've again been on to another charity who take furniture - this time PDSA.

I got the familiar refrain that yes they could take it in principle but (a) there's a backlog and (b) their men can't collect from an upper floor.

So there is a problem getting rid of the unwanted furniture from upstairs. I would like to offload that dresser and unused chest of drawers from the top deck.

Can someone find some able bodied men to come and dump this in the back lane? I am sure that once this is done they items will be removed very quickly.

Today's visit

I went to see Mam today for about 1.5 hours - getting there at just after 2pm.
Mam was sleeping when I entered the room and no sooner had I sat down than Fr O'Connor and a young curate entered!! So I sat outside for a few minutes. Fr OC asked me how Mam was settling in but I said it was still too early to tell. Actually Mam was very flustered by having so many people arrive at once so for quite a while she wasn't making much sense (she'd just woken up, after all).
I sat with her for a while and gradually she brightened up. Things were helped enormously by the arrival of Sister Mary Bridget who is very nice and we three of us had a chat - yesterday (Monday) Mam had been out with the other residents in a minibus mystery tour. Mam had enjoyed it a lot, I think. It took in the new quayside, Gateshead and South Shields where Mam had an ice cream.
So that was nice.
I offered to help them out if they need any help with their website.

Saturday visit

I got there at 2.00pm in time to give Mam a wheel around outside and get back in to set her up to listen to the match. I got the impression from one of the staff that at the moment Mam seems to prefer her own company and stays in her room. If she's happy with this then OK. Perhaps her awareness of her communication problem makes her shy of meeting others.

Her watch is nowhere to be found. Was it ever taken to the LSoP?

She needs a wastepaper basket for her room as well as a biscuit tin. Her moveable table is looking very cluttered.

Also took her an Evening Chronicle. She'll need a Radio Times and perhaps one of those cards showing Newcastle United's fixture list for this season. As Adam and Jolyon are Newcastle fans, couldn't they send her a postcard once a week with their thoughts about the match. Just a thought.

Too tired to spellcheck this stuff.

Don't seem to hear anything from anyone else. We will need to discuss getting the telephone account changed over and probably the utilities. Mam shouldn't be paying for resources that she isn't using.

Paul

Thursday's visit

I saw Mam again this afternoon. I took her out for a ride in the wheelchair through the grounds which she really enjoyed. While I was there a nurse came in to take a look at her legs which have been quite dry (I dont think Mam's been using her diprobase cream for a while). The nurse is going to ensure that the carers once a day put a cream on her to moisturise the skin on her legs.

Mam again mentioned the issue about two members of staff being not very nice. I think that she said that one of the sisters had sorted it out and told me not to do anything else.

This is a little more serious: Mam had a fall last night around 8pm whilst she was coming out of her en-suite bathroom/toilet. She didn't have a blackout, she said. But she did say that she found using the bathroom toilet there difficult - which is something I suspected might be the case. I don't know where the on-site Occupational Therapist is based. Can somebody maybe give them a phone and ask if something can be done to coach Mam in getting into and out of the bathroom?

Paul

Visiting Mam 20th August

Went along to see Mam today. She seemed OK but was finding speech difficult. Maybe it was tiredness as earlier in the day she'd had Uncle Jim and Aunty Lucy; and also a visit from Peter.

Points to note.

• Mam said that one of the staff had been "nasty" to her but the circumstances weren't clear to me. Seemed to have been an incident in a dining area where the residents were being marshalled by the staff and Mam complained about their treatment and said she got treated quite rudely. Mam may just be finding it difficult to adjust to the regime there. There has to be a certain amount of regimentation, I'd guess.
• I'm not sure whether Mam is keen on attending church EVERY day. Is this compulsory? Can someone check?
• Mam also claimed (and I'm sure this is incorrect) that her medications had been withdrawn.

Today (Thursday 21st) there has been a call at the door from a man from the pensions service. He had a form with my name written into one of the fields but not my phone number. I assume he wanted to talk to Peter - it concerns transferring the handling of Mam's financial affairs (at least, the pensions aspect of this) into someone else's hands now that Mam can't really do this herself.

Can you give me an indication that any of you are bothering to read this stuff?

Paul

Visiting Mam today

I walked over ot the LSoP today to see Mam. She looked very well and was having breakfast when I arrived. I took her some things which'd been forgotten yesterday - nail files, Nivea, creme puff, lipstick and some combs.
She seemed very happy. She'd had a nice bath and her feet had been seen to. All in all she looked better than she has in ages. She again asked about heminevrin but I managed to get her off the topic.
The place looks very nice and I hope this works out for her and that we can find a funding model to finance her long-term care there, should she wish to stay. This is something we'll need to talk about, I know. I wish I could help out more but I have needs of my own - not least to get myself a better job because there's as good as none to go back to at Northern Rock. I have a good chance of a job down in Chesterfield but it's not an ideal location for me. I'm hoping to hear this week about a job in north yorkshire which would be closer to the sea. Also a possibility of an IT job with the Swiss government.
But Mam looked so well, which was good. I hope it continues.

Mam's homecoming and my operation date

Mam is due home this afternoon. I saw her earlier on as I came back from seeing the surgeon for th epre-admission appointment.

On Thursday morning I have to be up at word 33 for my operation. May be home the following day or perhaps kept in longer. Have been told to take things easy for a while.

This may affect Mam's care and place additional burden upon Peter. Can anyone else come round to help out if needed?

Note on Mam's blackouts

You may already know this. Dr Shaw told me that the likely cause of Mam's blackouts has been identified. As Mam was undergoing some tests, she had a blackout and they measured a sudden fall in her blood pressure. Mam has been taking various drugs to lower this for quite a few years. At one time it was Adalat, another it was Lisinopril and the most recent one has a long name that I can't recall (I'd have to look at her medipak which I don't have).

So they have withdrawn this blood pressure lowering drug. Whether it is being replaced by a different one to serve the same purpose, I simply don't know. If such a drug is no longer being prescribed, we need to consider the implications - presumably it had been prescribed to keep Mam's blood pressure down. So it's possible that Mam may run the risk of high-blood pressure, isn't it? What are the symptoms and what ought we to do about this (other than avoid stressful situations in the house)?

Second valuation

Today's valuation by Pattinsons was much more encouraging. They'll also put it in writing. It's quite feasible that we could get around 300K for this - perhaps more if the market picks up (as it will - and in the time frame we're thinking of, this may indeed be the case!!). He was much more upbeat about the house than the guy from RMS - structurally in good nick. The only thing that could do with a bit of work being the kitchen, which we know anyway. We'll get something in the post from them (again, this is better than RMS who just did everything verbally).

Whilst we were talking, we got onto the subject of the marble fireplace (the fellow from RMS had noticed this, too). It's a really good feature of the house and this lead us onto a chat about security. Such fireplaces are still getting nicked and it takes only a few minutes to do so if you have a team of people and a lorry out the back. What's scary is that it requires the thieves know when a house is empty (at least of people) and they seem to have eyes and ears everywhere.

From a security point of view, the weak spot is the back kitchen door. There is nothing more than a bolt at floor level and a deadlock bolt at waist level - it's got a huge glass window on it, too. I was considering replacing this almost two years ago but didn't get round to it - there's the issue of cost. Do any of you have an opinion about this? If I had loads of money I'd get the whole of the back - kitchen, yard, garage, redone but I don't think this is feasible. But I'd like your opinion about the back kitchen door. Can you recommend a door type (PVC I assume).

Hospital Visit

Today I visited the General Hospital to see Mam, her consultant Dr Shaw and to see my consultant in regard to my herniated disc.

On the way in, I got a phonecall from Debbie Barnes who informed me that the plan was to reinstate the care package as of Monday evening with Mam coming home on Monday afternoon. There will be two visits per day - just like at the beginning.

This was also partly what Dr Shaw wanted to talk to me about - about whether I was happy about Mam coming home under this regime, did I feel it would work etc. I said we'd just have to try it out and see. I stressed that my availability in the house could not be guaranteed given the condition of my back (hospitalisation expected) and the desire to find a new job. But Mam wants to come home.

I don't know how this is going to work out, frankly. Another thing Dr Shaw mentioned was that the waiting time to get into LSoP can be several months - possibly more than six. So thoughts of selling the house are not for the immediate term, can I take it?

A related issue is that if the wait is too long, then Mam's health may have deteriorated to the point at which the LSoP might not take her in! So we'd have to find somewhere else - there are such places. Dr Shaw mentioned somewhere called St Catherine's - do any of you know of this place? We should have a back-up plan. Do you think we should also get Mam into the waiting list of another place which cares for people with greater needs?

Nurse Sheila instructed me in the use of the catheter. I need to clarify some points about the longer tube that needs to be connected when Mam's in bed. I was very tired by the time I got to the hospital and wasn't taking as much in as usual.

More later. Op will probably not be for another eight weeks.

Another valuation

I have arranged for someone to come from Pattinsons on Thursday at 10.30am to give us another valuation. If I cannot be in (I think I can be at present) can someone else make themselves available?

If Mam is back by then, how will she react to a man coming to value the house? Can someone run this by her?

I doubt whether the valuation will be vastly different from the one that we were given by Rook Matthew Sayer. The Your Move website said that the average price in our street was about £215,000 and we are among the bigger houses in the street - the ones further down towards Spital Terrace are quite a bit smaller so are likely to be cheaper.

Mam's deferred homecoming

I was expecting Mam to come home today.
However, this has apparently been deferred to later in the week when the care package has been reinstated.

• How much is this care package costing per month?
• How much would matters be helped if she did not have the £303 per month payment to Barclays for that loan she had to take out four years ago to pay off various debts? If that boil could be lanced, it may be easier to manage here before the place comes available at LSoP.
• Are we still using the Care Alarm service? I'm not sure this is good value for money.

How aware is Mam that when a place at LSoP becomes free that she will need to sell the house to finance the place? Has anyone explained this to Mam?

I may not be here much longer. I had a very positive interview by telephone with a company in South Yorkshire this morning. They are aware of my back problem and want to keep in touch with me as I was the best candidate they've found so far in two months of searching.

Phone call

At around 15.45 today the telephone rang and I picked it up. I'm sure this wasn't a machine-generated call. The caller said nothing and replaced the receiver after a long pause and 1471 revealed the number to've been withheld.

We need to be careful that the house is not left empty for long. Thieves are very good at casing the area - they have eyes and ears everywhere (schoolkids, black-economy workers etc). This is has again got me to thinking about replacing the back kitchen door - but what's the point if the next occupant replaces it?

First house valuation

Today I had a visit from a man from Rook Matthew Sayer in Gosforth in order to give us an idea of for how much the house could be sold. His estimate in the current climate was between £250K and £275K though the upper part of that band would take it above a stamp duty threshold.

He didn't think£300K was feasible at the moment. Houses are still being sold even in the current market but it can be a slow business.

He said that even after a buyer had been found it can still take up to eight weeks to get everything sorted (HIPS, survey etc).

I think this was useful to know anyway.

I'll leave the rest in your hands.

Furniture removals

I spoke with a company called Abacus in Scotswood today in regard to house clearances - getting rid of unwanted furniture and so forth. I was informed that a full house clearance service would cost £375 plus VAT (which means £440.63 inclusive of VAT). It would be done by means of a lorry rather than a skip (so less inconvenience to neighbours) and that they would need 48 hours' notice. So that's a bit of good news. We can still use Envirocall to get rid of some really useless stuff (broken vacuum cleaners, old lamps and such like).

The people from Community Furniture Removal who came around last week adjudged that our stuff wasn't worth taking for redistribution. So we will have to pay.

More on Mam's discharge

I have spoken to Debbie Barnes the Social Worker today. She had been surprised yesterday, too, when told of Mam's imminent discharge. She has told me that the issue of the catheter will have to be resolved before Mam comes home. Why was one inserted? Mam didn't use one prior to going in. Is it merely there to prevent Mam having to make repeated trips to the toilet? Both Peter and myself will have to be shown how to change the catheter during the day.

I gather that the evening carer is to be reinstated though this time via a different agency.

Latest on Mam's return

I'm of the understanding that Mam is coming home this coming Monday and that the care package will be reinstated. I'm also given to understand that Mam will be fitted with a catheter.

• Will this mean frequent visits from a nurse for refitting?
• What if it...er...falls out? Can this happen? Will we need instruction in how to refit it?
• What does this mean for Mam's bowel movements? Mornings are usually the worst time for this with lots of to-ing and fro-ing between bedroom and toilet.
• Will Mam be staying on the middle floor?

Also, can I safely assume that Mam is now in the pipeline for LSoP?

The only people who I think have read the blog are Marianne (at least once), Sarah and Janet. Are you finding it useful? You should start ones of your own off.

Any ideas?

This'll have to be quick as my bum is very sore - I'll have to take the laptop upstairs and lie down in order to use it more comfortably.

I think that there are pigeons living in the chimney - at least in the chimney leading from the downstairs front room upwards. I've heard a pigeon from my room on the top deck several times recently and this morning, when lying down in the front room could hear cooing coming from the chimney.

What's the best way to get rid of these? I would imagine that they can leave quite a mess in the chimney.

Can Francis lend us a rake (perhaps one of the wider, more flexible ones would be best) in order to try to clear the moss and foliage growing on the surface of the back yard?

There's a bag of clean clothes for Mam. Not sure whether I can get along today after Sunday's efforts.

More later

First House Valuation

On this coming Friday 25th July at around mid-day, a man from the estate agency Rook Matthew Sayer will be coming around to value the house. I am of the understanding that the service is free. I will have to remember to ask about HIPs - how these are created, how much they cost and so forth. The man's name is David Jones.

I have not yet heard from the Jan Forster agency so I'll try another one, say Reeds Rains.

Sunday July 20th

Went to see Mam early this afternoon - wasn't easy considering the sciatica. Took her some clean clothes and bought her a newspaper for which she was very grateful. She looked well but seemed to be of the impression that she was to be returning home tomorrow (Monday 21st). When I asked the nurses before leaving, they said this wasn't the case and that Mam had most likely misheard something being said to/about/by one of the other patients. I hope that Mam will not be too disappointed tomorrow.

I brought back a bag of clothes to wash. Leg was very bad upon my return. Hope I can walk tomorrow.

We need to consider the possibility that a place at LSoP becomes available before the house has been sold. In such an eventuality we may have to consider some kind of bridging loan to make up any shortfall in Mam's finances. Does anyone have any ideas along these lines? We need to have a plan in place so please get your thinking caps on. How healthy are Mam's finances. Also, so we have any hard evidence that Mam was dishing out large amounts of cash to St Charles? If this is true, it is very sad but it is also disgraceful that St Charles allowed this to go on without informing close relatives. Would they provide drink to an alcoholic? I have often wondered what the church would prefer: parishioners who attended church but gave no money - or parishioners who didn't attend yet made donations. I suspect it's the latter.

Point to note

It's around 2.15pm and the phone was ringing downstairs for quite some time. I was unable to answer it due to my present condition - it being, lying on the floor with my pants around my ankles with a TENS machine plugged into my backside.

If it was one of you, you should have perhaps tried my mobile which is closer to hand. The number is 07974818030

There is a bag of clean clothes for Mam in the kitchen. It's a costcutter bag containing:

• four pairs of knickers
• Two nighties
• One white cotton blouse (ironed, too)
• One pair of socks
• A vest belonging to the Cragside Ward

Can somebody come along to collect it, please?

Also I discovered this morning that the vacuum cleaner downstairs (Morphy Richards one) no longer seems to have any suction. I have placed this in the back garage pending removal by envirocall. I hoovered the kitchen floor using the better Electrolux vacuum cleaner from upstairs.

Is anyone actually reading this?

Paul

18th July

Got the certificate from the Corgi man to attest to the unit's maintenance.

This morning two men came around from the Community Furniture Recycling Service. They took one look at the chest of drawers and dresser and said they couldn't take them as they're too old. So they're still taking up space.

Actually Marianne ought to have had these removed when she moved out to be with Nasser. They were used by her. Why should it be my responsibility to get rid of these? I've never used them. Am I to cause my back even more damage by dragging these downstairs myself?

I have asked for more helful input from Envirocall this time but I doubt I'll hear back from them soon.
Valuation of property still not done or even arranged. I don't know what's happening on the other fronts.

I am going out to register with a different GP now.

Roof tiling, Tuesday 15th July

Mr Dillon came this morning to do the repointing and retiling of the roof.
I gave him a cheque as agreed for £300 and got a receipt.

While here he indicated that an area of the wall at the rear of the house - north facing - requires quite a lot of repointing. It does, actually - even I can see that. It would be a day's work and would cost around £200. I could get him to do this and so make the cement flush with the brickwork (it is noticeably not flush!!) but said I would consult with the others before proceeding.

Is this piece of work something that should be done as a matter of necessity? He said that a surveyor would pick up on it straight away.

Also a small piece of work that couldn't be done today was due to the inaccessibility of the section of the roof. They'd have had to remove the roof to the garage.

I am getting my £300 eventually, aren't I?

Valuations

Before we get a valuer in to see the house Peter will have to remove that bin bag full of dirty clothes from his bedroom and either wash them himself or send them for a service wash. The smell this bag makes is quite awful now and would almost certainly - even if only subconsciously - affect the valuer's judgement. There is no other way I could have broached this subject with him without giving offence so I may as well do it here. No slight is meant, but we are supposed to be making the house more conducive for living in.

14th July

Mr Dillon has been round this morning and identified a number of things - tiles, a bit of repointing here and there (there's a gap at the back of the house).

He can do this tomorrow and it will cost £300 or thereabouts. We'll get some kind of certificate attesting to the job that's been done.

Can I have an assurance that I will be getting this £300 back? It is in all our interests that the roof is in good condition otherwise a surveyor will pick up on it straight away.

Sunday 13th July

Back and leg still very bad. Cannot get to see Mam.

I have contacted Mr Dillon's family who say he'll phone us after 8.30am tomorrow (Monday) to set up a time to drop by and fix any tiles that need doing.

No word back yet from Your Move and Jan Forster for a valuation but I will contact them and ROok Matthew Sayer to set up valuations for the week beginning Monday 21st July. This should give us some more time to do a bit more hoovering.

Please make use of the add comment facility to add your own stuff.

back update

In the past two days I have had a very bad flare-up of my prolapsed disc and sciatic pain and am in a great deal of discomfort. Some staff at the Neuroscience Centre of the General Hospital have suggested alternative (perhaps better) painkillers for my condition - yesterday it was even suggested that morphine be used.

I do not think that the Grove Practice where I've been registered since March has taken this problem very seriously at all. When I have told them about the other painkillers, they just say to keep with the one I have (amitryptiline) which I am now taking about 4/5/6 times a day.

My next appointment with the consultant is not until July 30th - presumably I will at some time later be put in a queue for a microdiscectomy operation. I have no idea how long this will take.

The pain is awful. It is like being faced by a wall that is infinitely high and infinitely thick. Nothing can get through. No plans for the future can be made when the pain is on like it is now. I wish I could just sleep until the whole business is over.

Peter tells me this evening that there is a waiting list at the LSOP and that Mam wants to come home before getting her into there.

How feasible is the latter? I don't think it is, given Mam's condition. And it could easily become mission-creep where it is seen as an easy option with the actual goal of getting Mam somewhere nice never being achieved. Wewould be letting Mam down terribly. LSOP could give her a new lease of life - she knows people already there and there'd be church services and social interaction. They haveSky TV so she'd have plenty of Sports to watch on telly.

At any rate I think Mam should definitely be on the list. Is she on it now? Or have forms got to be filled in - and by whom? How long is the average waiting time for people on the list?

I would guess that the LSOP will want to assess Mam's revenue stream to ascertain whether she can afford to live there for at least a year. What are Mam's incomings and outgoings?

Is the sale of the house a prerequisite to getting Mam into LSOP or can the house be kept on for a limited period whilst Mam is in there? When I am fit and well again and if working in Newcastle, I might consider staying a little longer PROVIDED I know the house is going to be sold. House sale is, I think, the only way we can secure Mam's position at the LSOP which I've heard is a very nice place indeed. Mam deserves better than what she has at present.

We still need the house valued and I have already heard from Rook Matthew Sayer who would be happy to give such an evaluation.I'll try a couple of others, too.

important

I doubt whether I shall be able to see Mam for a few days due to the back problem.

Someone else will have to go today. She will need trousers and I think her blouson-type jacket that is in the kitchen.

I can't do any more. Am awaiting a phonecall from the neurosurgeon's office.

Some maintenance work

About three weeks ago I got the Vaillant Combi Boiler inspected - it had been overdue by over one year. However, it is in excellent order and the filter was cleaned. However, the repairman (Mr Hetherington) forgot to put a new sticker on confirming when the appliance was last serviced. This was as much my fault as his, I suspect, as we got talking about sciatica.

Given that we are looking to sell the property, I shall get him to drop round again to give us this piece of documentation so that we can prove when the last maintenance work was done.

He is also a plumber so I will ask for his opinion on the hot water supply on the top deck - which has never to my knowledge even been hot and now seems to be empty of water. This information, again, will be of interest to the next occupants. Plus it would be nice to know where the stopcock is located.

Wednesday 9th July

I'm not getting a great deal of feedback about what other people are doing. It is important that we keep each other informed so that we don't get our wires crossed or duplicate effort.

I went to visit Mam in the Cragside today. She was with the physio when I arrived. It was nice to see her dressed and she actually seemed quite happy - though it was difficult to understand much of what she was saying. I eventually (perhaps it's me!) figured out that she wants me to bring the packet of paper tissues that is upstairs at home to her.

I took her two clean nighties and some more knickers and socks. Also brought back a large amount of washing to do.

I emailed Rook Matthew Sayer to ask about a viewing and valuation but have had no reply as yet. Can you recommend other estate agents?

Unless there are objections from you, I am going to give all Mam's jigsaws to Oxfam or Scope. They're not going to get done at home any more.

What has happened with respect to the Care Alarm people? Has that arrangement been cancelled yet? What about the other visits by carers?

Financial considerations

Assuming that we do successfully sell the house soon to fund Mam's care we need to consider how best to manage that money. She will not need the whole amount to fund care on a monthly or yearly basis so perhaps we should consider some form of trust arrangement or PoA to control the outgoings for the care.

I don't think this should be me because I suspect only friction will ensue and I don't think I have the energy anyway. I will if you elect me but I'd prefer not. I will make the following suggestions, though:

1. There's the flat fee for the accommodation at the Little Sisters. I don't know how much this is but am assuming that one or more of you are already making enquiries. So some kind of yearly payment or standing order arrangement will need to be set up.
2. Mam will need "pocket money" to pay for hair-dos, clothes and other things - I assume the home will organise trips out.
3. We could invest a large sum into some kind of high-interest account or bond arrangement. I would NOT recommend using an Independent Financial Adviser for Mam's money. National Savings would be far better: guaranteed growth with Treasury backing. You could even use £30K of it to purchase Premium Bonds in Mam's name (the maximum amount one person can own). Then you'd only be gambling interest on the 30K - you'd probably win a bit with this holding, though.

All for now,

Paul

Tuesday 8th July

I saw Mam today in the RVI forabout one hour. I was told that the CT scan had not detected any change (had there been a previous one?). Mam was to be moved later in the afternoon to the Cragside Unit. I wasn't myself sure she really understood this.

Is it reasonable to assume that Mam is not returning to the house? If so, then a number of things need to be considered:

1. Telephone bill
   Should we change the name on the account for the remainder of the period of occupancy?
2. Utilities
   We should contact NPower so that Mam's direct debit payments to them can be stopped.
3. Box Clever
   Mam is paying about £9 a month for rental of a washing machine. Perhaps this should be cancelled now - though if a sale is achieved within a couple of months, we could cancel once the house is sold.
4. Television sets
   I think we only have two of these in the house - both operating from Mam's free TV licence. The portable should be got rid of (this might be easiest by simply placing in the back lane, wrapped in clear plastic. Perhaps we should also offload the larger one in the front room.
5. Council Tax
   Mam will no longer be utilising council services. The forms should be filled in again - but when?
6. The Care Alarm people should be informed because we are currently paying £300 a month for a service that she will not need. Will she require this at the Little Sisters? I'm not sure whether Mam would even use the device. On Saturday it was me who had to press the button.
7. There's an old copper boiler still in the bathroom. It wasn't taken away when the Combi-Boiler was fitted four years ago. I think the price of certain metals has risen. Perhaps this could be taken away and sold (it'd be hard work removing, however).

Paul

House clearance

I have been in touch with the Sue Ryder shop in Wallsend who often
take good quality furniture. They can send someone out next Tuesday 15th
July to take a look at a couple of things I've been wanting to remove
for a while. These are in the top deck and are a dressing table
and a art-deco style set of drawers - neither of which is used.
I am assuming no-one else wants these.

Is there anything else we can immediately think of which we think Sue Ryder
may take? Possibly that small sofa-bed in the upper lounge? I'd also
be happy for them to take the bed in the top deck seeing as I usually
sleep on the floor.

I noticed that the "hot" taps in the top deck no longer seem to
be pumping out any water. What is the most likely reason for this?
To my knowledge, this hot water source is quite separate from the
main hot water system in the house and, what is more, I don't think
it was ever used - I'm pretty sure Marianne never took baths up
there when she occupied the place.

In fact the whole top deck attic conversion is almost certainly not
safe - it was converted by the house's previous owner before the
change in legislation governing attic conversions.

Monday 7th July

Went in today just after 2pm. Found Mam looking very unhappy, confused
and distressed. I don't think she's eating much - say's the food she was
given wasn't nice.

I took in the knickers that I'd bought (size 12?), toothbrushes, wet wipes,
tissues and some ribena which we shared. And another blouse and nightie - but she's still wearing the nightie she put on yesterday.

When I was there, I spoke to the nurse on duty who told me that Mam was getting a CT scan later in the day. After that, there'll be some kind of assessment of where she goes next. She suggested the Care for the Elderly ward.

She asked for a cross - either that or she meant the rosary beads. I'd actually
brought these with us on Saturday but inadvertently brought them back home yesterday as they'd been stuffed in a laundry bag.

She's obviously bored there, too. I suggested buying a paper and when I proposed the Journal, she said to get the Evening Chronicle, given the time of day it was. That was quite encouraging - you have to appreciate little chinks of light like this.
Just like in the General on Saturday when she looked at the clock on the wall and
said 'Five past eight, is that the time?'.

Not much else to say now, really. I need a rest myself.

I also passed them a card with all our contact telephone numbers on.

After seeing Mam today

Sunday 2.00pm
I took Mam in some clean knickers, nighties, two cardies and two blouses. Plus spectacles, a paper, her book, holder for her false teeth and Steradent. She and the nurse were very grateful for the knickers - the ones from theprevious day must be in quite a state. Mam was being taken from the Emergency Assessment ward to Ward 43 where shewas placed in Bay 4. She has a catheter connected to her.

She seemed a lot happier once she was changed into the fresh clothesbut also seemed confused as to her whereabouts. She kept mentioning AuntieMarjorie and saying she was in there, too. Is this the case? It's possible that Mam may think that she is in the Little Sisters. It was probablyaround 2.30 to 2.45 when I left.

The nurse chatted to me and told me to phone the social worker therecalled Helen Harvey tomorrow morning. I don't know how much I can say which would present a consensus among ourselves. I - and others - DO think that the house should be sold to finance Mam's future care. However, I willrequire support (i.e. help) from Janet and Francis on this.

I bought two packs of knickers in M&S for Mam. Not sure about her size so I got packs in 12 and 14.

I have to post this now. My leg is playing up and I'm hungry.

Resurrection of blog

Mam had a nasty fall yesterday morning. A paramedic came to take a look, took blood pressure readings and temperature. No immediate signs of breakages but recommended GP look at her on Monday. In the meantime, if she were to take a turn for the worse, we were to call again.

In the mid-afternoon (after the women's tennis final) she started calling out. I went down to her and found her very distressed. She said she was feeling unwell (she'd hardly touched her dinner) and was pointing to her upper chest. I called the paramedics again and gave Mam 300mg of aspirin as instructed over the phone.

The medics came and decided to take Mam into A & E. We were at the General for about 7+ hours during which time she had a blood test and an X-ray. Then she was taken to the emergency assessment ward in the Leazes Wing of the RVI which we reached I'd say well after 11pm. After she was checked in - looking a lot happier, I'd say - I came home.
Apparently she will be assessed today and possibly sent on somewhere else - the doctor to whom I spoke even suggested the Freeman.

I got home after midnight. No signs then of cat having made a mess (that was after he came in this morning - I am popping a note through Gerry's door).

Mam's brown bag was here - so it was never missing. I was careful not to make any false allegations at the hospital because I was never sure that it had left the house.

Apart from that I shall phone the hospital soon and visit her this afternoon.

We must get things sorted.

My back condition

I had an MRI scan on my lower back on 11th April at the Freeman Hospital.
I have an appointment with one of the consultant neurosurgeon's team on Friday 25th April - presumably to discuss the results of this. I hope there is something that they can do to get me out of the hole that I'm now in with this back trouble. It has gone on for six months now and I've been off work for something like three months.
I'll need to have some idea of how long I'll have to wait for any treatment; and of how soon (and how expensively) I could get it done privately.

Visiting Mam

I saw Mam for a couple of hours today. Her mood was very low and I gained the impression that she felt that her word problem was being exacerbated by the time she was spending in the unit. At times she was rather weepy. She seemed to be under the impression that she was coming home this Tuesday (22/01/08). When I tried to explain that before she comes home, there has to be a proper social services care package in place, she became quite upset. Primarily, she is very bored.

Upon checking with nurse Victoria, I learned that Tuesday is the date of her appointment with the Falls and Syncope unit at the RVI (this must be related to the heart issue). Are Falls and Syncope aware of Mam's poor ability to communicate and understand complex sentences? I am concerned about whether she will understand what is going on when she's at the RVI as she may not be able to follow what is being said to her. Can somebody offer to accompany her?

There is a later appointment with the Fracture Clinic on February 6th. If Mam is still being held in the unit by then, I think she will be in a very fragile state mentally.

Mam also said that a few nights ago, when trying to reach the komode, she had a slight fall. A nurse called Eric seems to have been able to assist her and moved the komode next to her bed. This does not make me feel at all optimistic about the regime once she comes home.

I also gained the impression that once home she intends to be coming downstairs during the daytime which is not what we have had in mind. If this home care thing is going to work, Mam is going to have to alter her routine to fit in. She may have to wait until carers have arrived to help her wash and dress - my concern is that she will in short order dismiss them, or at least start being rude to them, and revert to relying upon me to get things going in the morning. Mam needs these carers now.

Anyway, I got Mam set up to listen to the match against Bolton Wanderers and
she was happier about things.

She needs a new note book for writing messages down and some more pens.

Meeting with Speech Therapist

Yesterday I met with Jill Summersall who is the Speech Therapist who has been investigating Mam's difficulty in expressing herself. I met her at the Speech Therapy of the General Hospital and was with her for about an hour as we discussed the nature of Mam's problem and how we may be able to help her communicate better.

Mam's condition seems to be quite rare - a progressive dysphasia (aka aphasia) which has gradually got worse rather than having been attributed to a single event. Jill wanted to know how long ago I noticed that Mam had a word problem and I mentioned how I picked up on her growing inability to finish crossword puzzles about seven or eight years ago - something that was about more than mere tiredness. Jill thought this was significant - a high level language ability starting to atrophy.

Jill does not think that Mam is "confused". She thinks, as do I, that Mam knows what she wants to say but that she is finding it difficult to retrieve the word: especially if the word is one she doesn't use often. Mam will frequently describe the elusive word - and this is something we should encourage her to do when she's in difficulty. i.e. rather than us trying to prompt her; getting Mam to tell us about the word. For example, her description of the word "cactus" involved Mam saying "plant in desert", "when you touch it, it feels hot".

Mam's Occupational Therapist, Bulbul, has noticed elements of "dyspraxia". The OT observed Mam when she was using the toilet and saw that Mam was doing certain of her personal hygiene tasks in the wrong order.

A number of things are making Mam's communication difficult.

One is her short term memory. In one test, a few sentences of a short story were read to her and Mam was incapable of remembering anything that had been said to her. Her old knowledge, on the other hand, seems to be fine.

Another aspect is a linguistic impairment - again, something I've noticed for some time. Mam can get short sentences. Longer, more grammatically complex sentences (subclauses, passive voice) are presenting her with problems.

Jill has suggested that we keep sentences short and to the point AND that where appropriate, we write down what it is that we want to say to her so that she can run through it several times (as her short term memory is so poor).

Another thing is her very poor hearing - she must be encouraged to use her hearing aid.

On some tests, Mam scored very highly indeed - 85%, when naming common nouns.

We need to check with Mam's consulting physician (Dr Shaw) to see whether Mam is going to be sent for some kind of brain scan (PET scan) which
would highlight which areas of her brain had been affected and how. It may be that there IS something like vascular dementia (caused by furring
of blood vessels in the brain) but in the absence of any evidence, we cannot be sure for the present moment.

Summary

Overall, Jill was quite upbeat about Mam's abilities but she was perplexed as to why it's taken so long for her problem to have been presented to the
health service.

Mam's problem will likely deteriorate - but probably quite slowly. The more we can do to connect with Mam, the slower that degeneration will be. The more
socially isolated she feels through her speech difficulty, the greater the problem will get.

Strategies to help Mam

(*) As I said above, when Mam is stuck, encourage her to describe the word.

(*) Write down important things that we want to say to her so that she can go through it several times.

(*) Playing dominoes or cards.

(*) Jigsaws. I mentioned that Mam used to do these a lot. Jill suggested starting her off with a smaller - say 250 piece - set with a nice picture and helping her
get started.

(*) A bit more company would be nice.

I was handed a questionnaire that Peter and I are to fill in.

Paul

Thursday 10th January
Two phonecalls this morning.
1
The first was from a lady called Bulbul Sandyford who is Mam's Occupational Therapist.They would like to do a home assessment on Friday 18th January at around 10.00am.
This would involve Mam being brought to the house for a period of about 30-45 minutes in which she would be observed negotiating the home environment and doing some of her day to day tasks. After this she will be taken back to the hospital. Her physiotherapist will be there, too.

I'm assuming that you, Peter, can be in the house for this. Is that OK?

2
The second call was from Jill Summersall who is Mam's Speech Therapist. She would like Peter and myself to meet her at 4.00pm on Tuesday 15th January in which she can discuss Mam's progressive dysphasia problem and about strategies we can use to communicate with Mam more effectively. She wanted to know my own thoughts about the nature of Mam's problem and when we first noticed things were going wrong with her language processing.

One thing that's making Mam's communication more difficult is that she is almost completely deaf and doesn't wear her hearing aid. They are trying to be as firm with her as they can be in order to get Mam to wear the hearing aid. On some counts, Mam scores quite well and Jill doesn't think that Mam's actually that confused. There is, however, a problem with her assimilation of information. In one exercise, Jill read Mam a short story and then asked Mam how much she'd taken in; Mam replied that she'd forgotten it all.

She (Jill) doesn't, however, think that Mam is "demented". But as the problem is classed as "progressive" then I would guess that it is going to get worse.

She also mentioned that the OT people had noticed that Mam wasn't cleaning herself properly after using the toilet.

She also mentioned that a brain scan was being planned for Mam.

That's all for now. I am suffering from this nasty bug that's doing the rounds and am off work. I can't go into the unit until tomorrow at the earliest lest I infect the patients.

Mam: update January 7th

Mam looking a lot better when I went in this evening.

I filed her nails and brought back some dirty washing.

She was pleased about the "pink half dressing gown" as well.

Generally she was feeling a lot better today and wasn't in as much pain. I didn't stay too long - only about half and hour or so.

I chatted to nurse Sheila about a few things which I'll go into later. She did suggest looking
into PoA arragements to cover respectively her finances and her social service care - it seems PoA can be differentiated into those two types. A lot of Mam's activities will have to be done by proxy in future. I hope that there is a possibility of her returning home but a lot of this depends on what the Occupational Therapy/Health people say when they assess her.
We must ensure that there is no repetition of the previous "assessment" that wasn't. Mam was let down, in my view, by the Orthopaedic Discharge Team by their adjuging that she didn't need a bathing assistant when it was clear that such a thing was a necessity.

Sheila suggested that we contact AgeConcern for advice.

Mam's condition

OK, I thought setting up a blog may be a good idea to enable us to swap ideas more readily when talking about Mam's aftercare. It's a very hard time. I will have to configure the blog so that it only accepts postings (at least on the subject of Mam's health) by us lot. This may take a while to sort out so be aware that, the web being what it is, some smart-alec may be able to post tasteless and offensive remarks about what is to us a very sensitive subject.

I saw Mam this evening (Sunday) and she wasn't at all well but that place is the best place she can be at the moment. She's been isolated due to her diarrhoea and tummy upset. Her abdomen is still swolen, though not seeming quite so impacted. She's in pain with her lower back and she's uncomfortable in the trousers that she's wearing. She's requesting we buy a size 12 but this is because her swollen abdomen is causing her waistband to pinch.

She was able to read the parish bulletin out loud quite easily and understand the content. Funnily enough, she was able to pronounce what she was reading right first time.

It's late and I've not had much sleep.

Hope this is useful for you to know.

Paul