Second valuation

Today's valuation by Pattinsons was much more encouraging. They'll also put it in writing. It's quite feasible that we could get around 300K for this - perhaps more if the market picks up (as it will - and in the time frame we're thinking of, this may indeed be the case!!). He was much more upbeat about the house than the guy from RMS - structurally in good nick. The only thing that could do with a bit of work being the kitchen, which we know anyway. We'll get something in the post from them (again, this is better than RMS who just did everything verbally).

Whilst we were talking, we got onto the subject of the marble fireplace (the fellow from RMS had noticed this, too). It's a really good feature of the house and this lead us onto a chat about security. Such fireplaces are still getting nicked and it takes only a few minutes to do so if you have a team of people and a lorry out the back. What's scary is that it requires the thieves know when a house is empty (at least of people) and they seem to have eyes and ears everywhere.

From a security point of view, the weak spot is the back kitchen door. There is nothing more than a bolt at floor level and a deadlock bolt at waist level - it's got a huge glass window on it, too. I was considering replacing this almost two years ago but didn't get round to it - there's the issue of cost. Do any of you have an opinion about this? If I had loads of money I'd get the whole of the back - kitchen, yard, garage, redone but I don't think this is feasible. But I'd like your opinion about the back kitchen door. Can you recommend a door type (PVC I assume).

Hospital Visit

Today I visited the General Hospital to see Mam, her consultant Dr Shaw and to see my consultant in regard to my herniated disc.

On the way in, I got a phonecall from Debbie Barnes who informed me that the plan was to reinstate the care package as of Monday evening with Mam coming home on Monday afternoon. There will be two visits per day - just like at the beginning.

This was also partly what Dr Shaw wanted to talk to me about - about whether I was happy about Mam coming home under this regime, did I feel it would work etc. I said we'd just have to try it out and see. I stressed that my availability in the house could not be guaranteed given the condition of my back (hospitalisation expected) and the desire to find a new job. But Mam wants to come home.

I don't know how this is going to work out, frankly. Another thing Dr Shaw mentioned was that the waiting time to get into LSoP can be several months - possibly more than six. So thoughts of selling the house are not for the immediate term, can I take it?

A related issue is that if the wait is too long, then Mam's health may have deteriorated to the point at which the LSoP might not take her in! So we'd have to find somewhere else - there are such places. Dr Shaw mentioned somewhere called St Catherine's - do any of you know of this place? We should have a back-up plan. Do you think we should also get Mam into the waiting list of another place which cares for people with greater needs?

Nurse Sheila instructed me in the use of the catheter. I need to clarify some points about the longer tube that needs to be connected when Mam's in bed. I was very tired by the time I got to the hospital and wasn't taking as much in as usual.

More later. Op will probably not be for another eight weeks.

Another valuation

I have arranged for someone to come from Pattinsons on Thursday at 10.30am to give us another valuation. If I cannot be in (I think I can be at present) can someone else make themselves available?

If Mam is back by then, how will she react to a man coming to value the house? Can someone run this by her?

I doubt whether the valuation will be vastly different from the one that we were given by Rook Matthew Sayer. The Your Move website said that the average price in our street was about £215,000 and we are among the bigger houses in the street - the ones further down towards Spital Terrace are quite a bit smaller so are likely to be cheaper.

Mam's deferred homecoming

I was expecting Mam to come home today.
However, this has apparently been deferred to later in the week when the care package has been reinstated.

• How much is this care package costing per month?
• How much would matters be helped if she did not have the £303 per month payment to Barclays for that loan she had to take out four years ago to pay off various debts? If that boil could be lanced, it may be easier to manage here before the place comes available at LSoP.
• Are we still using the Care Alarm service? I'm not sure this is good value for money.

How aware is Mam that when a place at LSoP becomes free that she will need to sell the house to finance the place? Has anyone explained this to Mam?

I may not be here much longer. I had a very positive interview by telephone with a company in South Yorkshire this morning. They are aware of my back problem and want to keep in touch with me as I was the best candidate they've found so far in two months of searching.

Phone call

At around 15.45 today the telephone rang and I picked it up. I'm sure this wasn't a machine-generated call. The caller said nothing and replaced the receiver after a long pause and 1471 revealed the number to've been withheld.

We need to be careful that the house is not left empty for long. Thieves are very good at casing the area - they have eyes and ears everywhere (schoolkids, black-economy workers etc). This is has again got me to thinking about replacing the back kitchen door - but what's the point if the next occupant replaces it?

First house valuation

Today I had a visit from a man from Rook Matthew Sayer in Gosforth in order to give us an idea of for how much the house could be sold. His estimate in the current climate was between £250K and £275K though the upper part of that band would take it above a stamp duty threshold.

He didn't think£300K was feasible at the moment. Houses are still being sold even in the current market but it can be a slow business.

He said that even after a buyer had been found it can still take up to eight weeks to get everything sorted (HIPS, survey etc).

I think this was useful to know anyway.

I'll leave the rest in your hands.

Furniture removals

I spoke with a company called Abacus in Scotswood today in regard to house clearances - getting rid of unwanted furniture and so forth. I was informed that a full house clearance service would cost £375 plus VAT (which means £440.63 inclusive of VAT). It would be done by means of a lorry rather than a skip (so less inconvenience to neighbours) and that they would need 48 hours' notice. So that's a bit of good news. We can still use Envirocall to get rid of some really useless stuff (broken vacuum cleaners, old lamps and such like).

The people from Community Furniture Removal who came around last week adjudged that our stuff wasn't worth taking for redistribution. So we will have to pay.

More on Mam's discharge

I have spoken to Debbie Barnes the Social Worker today. She had been surprised yesterday, too, when told of Mam's imminent discharge. She has told me that the issue of the catheter will have to be resolved before Mam comes home. Why was one inserted? Mam didn't use one prior to going in. Is it merely there to prevent Mam having to make repeated trips to the toilet? Both Peter and myself will have to be shown how to change the catheter during the day.

I gather that the evening carer is to be reinstated though this time via a different agency.

Latest on Mam's return

I'm of the understanding that Mam is coming home this coming Monday and that the care package will be reinstated. I'm also given to understand that Mam will be fitted with a catheter.

• Will this mean frequent visits from a nurse for refitting?
• What if it...er...falls out? Can this happen? Will we need instruction in how to refit it?
• What does this mean for Mam's bowel movements? Mornings are usually the worst time for this with lots of to-ing and fro-ing between bedroom and toilet.
• Will Mam be staying on the middle floor?

Also, can I safely assume that Mam is now in the pipeline for LSoP?

The only people who I think have read the blog are Marianne (at least once), Sarah and Janet. Are you finding it useful? You should start ones of your own off.

Any ideas?

This'll have to be quick as my bum is very sore - I'll have to take the laptop upstairs and lie down in order to use it more comfortably.

I think that there are pigeons living in the chimney - at least in the chimney leading from the downstairs front room upwards. I've heard a pigeon from my room on the top deck several times recently and this morning, when lying down in the front room could hear cooing coming from the chimney.

What's the best way to get rid of these? I would imagine that they can leave quite a mess in the chimney.

Can Francis lend us a rake (perhaps one of the wider, more flexible ones would be best) in order to try to clear the moss and foliage growing on the surface of the back yard?

There's a bag of clean clothes for Mam. Not sure whether I can get along today after Sunday's efforts.

More later

First House Valuation

On this coming Friday 25th July at around mid-day, a man from the estate agency Rook Matthew Sayer will be coming around to value the house. I am of the understanding that the service is free. I will have to remember to ask about HIPs - how these are created, how much they cost and so forth. The man's name is David Jones.

I have not yet heard from the Jan Forster agency so I'll try another one, say Reeds Rains.

Sunday July 20th

Went to see Mam early this afternoon - wasn't easy considering the sciatica. Took her some clean clothes and bought her a newspaper for which she was very grateful. She looked well but seemed to be of the impression that she was to be returning home tomorrow (Monday 21st). When I asked the nurses before leaving, they said this wasn't the case and that Mam had most likely misheard something being said to/about/by one of the other patients. I hope that Mam will not be too disappointed tomorrow.

I brought back a bag of clothes to wash. Leg was very bad upon my return. Hope I can walk tomorrow.

We need to consider the possibility that a place at LSoP becomes available before the house has been sold. In such an eventuality we may have to consider some kind of bridging loan to make up any shortfall in Mam's finances. Does anyone have any ideas along these lines? We need to have a plan in place so please get your thinking caps on. How healthy are Mam's finances. Also, so we have any hard evidence that Mam was dishing out large amounts of cash to St Charles? If this is true, it is very sad but it is also disgraceful that St Charles allowed this to go on without informing close relatives. Would they provide drink to an alcoholic? I have often wondered what the church would prefer: parishioners who attended church but gave no money - or parishioners who didn't attend yet made donations. I suspect it's the latter.

Point to note

It's around 2.15pm and the phone was ringing downstairs for quite some time. I was unable to answer it due to my present condition - it being, lying on the floor with my pants around my ankles with a TENS machine plugged into my backside.

If it was one of you, you should have perhaps tried my mobile which is closer to hand. The number is 07974818030

There is a bag of clean clothes for Mam in the kitchen. It's a costcutter bag containing:

• four pairs of knickers
• Two nighties
• One white cotton blouse (ironed, too)
• One pair of socks
• A vest belonging to the Cragside Ward

Can somebody come along to collect it, please?

Also I discovered this morning that the vacuum cleaner downstairs (Morphy Richards one) no longer seems to have any suction. I have placed this in the back garage pending removal by envirocall. I hoovered the kitchen floor using the better Electrolux vacuum cleaner from upstairs.

Is anyone actually reading this?

Paul

18th July

Got the certificate from the Corgi man to attest to the unit's maintenance.

This morning two men came around from the Community Furniture Recycling Service. They took one look at the chest of drawers and dresser and said they couldn't take them as they're too old. So they're still taking up space.

Actually Marianne ought to have had these removed when she moved out to be with Nasser. They were used by her. Why should it be my responsibility to get rid of these? I've never used them. Am I to cause my back even more damage by dragging these downstairs myself?

I have asked for more helful input from Envirocall this time but I doubt I'll hear back from them soon.
Valuation of property still not done or even arranged. I don't know what's happening on the other fronts.

I am going out to register with a different GP now.

Roof tiling, Tuesday 15th July

Mr Dillon came this morning to do the repointing and retiling of the roof.
I gave him a cheque as agreed for £300 and got a receipt.

While here he indicated that an area of the wall at the rear of the house - north facing - requires quite a lot of repointing. It does, actually - even I can see that. It would be a day's work and would cost around £200. I could get him to do this and so make the cement flush with the brickwork (it is noticeably not flush!!) but said I would consult with the others before proceeding.

Is this piece of work something that should be done as a matter of necessity? He said that a surveyor would pick up on it straight away.

Also a small piece of work that couldn't be done today was due to the inaccessibility of the section of the roof. They'd have had to remove the roof to the garage.

I am getting my £300 eventually, aren't I?

Valuations

Before we get a valuer in to see the house Peter will have to remove that bin bag full of dirty clothes from his bedroom and either wash them himself or send them for a service wash. The smell this bag makes is quite awful now and would almost certainly - even if only subconsciously - affect the valuer's judgement. There is no other way I could have broached this subject with him without giving offence so I may as well do it here. No slight is meant, but we are supposed to be making the house more conducive for living in.

14th July

Mr Dillon has been round this morning and identified a number of things - tiles, a bit of repointing here and there (there's a gap at the back of the house).

He can do this tomorrow and it will cost £300 or thereabouts. We'll get some kind of certificate attesting to the job that's been done.

Can I have an assurance that I will be getting this £300 back? It is in all our interests that the roof is in good condition otherwise a surveyor will pick up on it straight away.

Sunday 13th July

Back and leg still very bad. Cannot get to see Mam.

I have contacted Mr Dillon's family who say he'll phone us after 8.30am tomorrow (Monday) to set up a time to drop by and fix any tiles that need doing.

No word back yet from Your Move and Jan Forster for a valuation but I will contact them and ROok Matthew Sayer to set up valuations for the week beginning Monday 21st July. This should give us some more time to do a bit more hoovering.

Please make use of the add comment facility to add your own stuff.

back update

In the past two days I have had a very bad flare-up of my prolapsed disc and sciatic pain and am in a great deal of discomfort. Some staff at the Neuroscience Centre of the General Hospital have suggested alternative (perhaps better) painkillers for my condition - yesterday it was even suggested that morphine be used.

I do not think that the Grove Practice where I've been registered since March has taken this problem very seriously at all. When I have told them about the other painkillers, they just say to keep with the one I have (amitryptiline) which I am now taking about 4/5/6 times a day.

My next appointment with the consultant is not until July 30th - presumably I will at some time later be put in a queue for a microdiscectomy operation. I have no idea how long this will take.

The pain is awful. It is like being faced by a wall that is infinitely high and infinitely thick. Nothing can get through. No plans for the future can be made when the pain is on like it is now. I wish I could just sleep until the whole business is over.

Peter tells me this evening that there is a waiting list at the LSOP and that Mam wants to come home before getting her into there.

How feasible is the latter? I don't think it is, given Mam's condition. And it could easily become mission-creep where it is seen as an easy option with the actual goal of getting Mam somewhere nice never being achieved. Wewould be letting Mam down terribly. LSOP could give her a new lease of life - she knows people already there and there'd be church services and social interaction. They haveSky TV so she'd have plenty of Sports to watch on telly.

At any rate I think Mam should definitely be on the list. Is she on it now? Or have forms got to be filled in - and by whom? How long is the average waiting time for people on the list?

I would guess that the LSOP will want to assess Mam's revenue stream to ascertain whether she can afford to live there for at least a year. What are Mam's incomings and outgoings?

Is the sale of the house a prerequisite to getting Mam into LSOP or can the house be kept on for a limited period whilst Mam is in there? When I am fit and well again and if working in Newcastle, I might consider staying a little longer PROVIDED I know the house is going to be sold. House sale is, I think, the only way we can secure Mam's position at the LSOP which I've heard is a very nice place indeed. Mam deserves better than what she has at present.

We still need the house valued and I have already heard from Rook Matthew Sayer who would be happy to give such an evaluation.I'll try a couple of others, too.

important

I doubt whether I shall be able to see Mam for a few days due to the back problem.

Someone else will have to go today. She will need trousers and I think her blouson-type jacket that is in the kitchen.

I can't do any more. Am awaiting a phonecall from the neurosurgeon's office.

Some maintenance work

About three weeks ago I got the Vaillant Combi Boiler inspected - it had been overdue by over one year. However, it is in excellent order and the filter was cleaned. However, the repairman (Mr Hetherington) forgot to put a new sticker on confirming when the appliance was last serviced. This was as much my fault as his, I suspect, as we got talking about sciatica.

Given that we are looking to sell the property, I shall get him to drop round again to give us this piece of documentation so that we can prove when the last maintenance work was done.

He is also a plumber so I will ask for his opinion on the hot water supply on the top deck - which has never to my knowledge even been hot and now seems to be empty of water. This information, again, will be of interest to the next occupants. Plus it would be nice to know where the stopcock is located.

Wednesday 9th July

I'm not getting a great deal of feedback about what other people are doing. It is important that we keep each other informed so that we don't get our wires crossed or duplicate effort.

I went to visit Mam in the Cragside today. She was with the physio when I arrived. It was nice to see her dressed and she actually seemed quite happy - though it was difficult to understand much of what she was saying. I eventually (perhaps it's me!) figured out that she wants me to bring the packet of paper tissues that is upstairs at home to her.

I took her two clean nighties and some more knickers and socks. Also brought back a large amount of washing to do.

I emailed Rook Matthew Sayer to ask about a viewing and valuation but have had no reply as yet. Can you recommend other estate agents?

Unless there are objections from you, I am going to give all Mam's jigsaws to Oxfam or Scope. They're not going to get done at home any more.

What has happened with respect to the Care Alarm people? Has that arrangement been cancelled yet? What about the other visits by carers?

Financial considerations

Assuming that we do successfully sell the house soon to fund Mam's care we need to consider how best to manage that money. She will not need the whole amount to fund care on a monthly or yearly basis so perhaps we should consider some form of trust arrangement or PoA to control the outgoings for the care.

I don't think this should be me because I suspect only friction will ensue and I don't think I have the energy anyway. I will if you elect me but I'd prefer not. I will make the following suggestions, though:

1. There's the flat fee for the accommodation at the Little Sisters. I don't know how much this is but am assuming that one or more of you are already making enquiries. So some kind of yearly payment or standing order arrangement will need to be set up.
2. Mam will need "pocket money" to pay for hair-dos, clothes and other things - I assume the home will organise trips out.
3. We could invest a large sum into some kind of high-interest account or bond arrangement. I would NOT recommend using an Independent Financial Adviser for Mam's money. National Savings would be far better: guaranteed growth with Treasury backing. You could even use £30K of it to purchase Premium Bonds in Mam's name (the maximum amount one person can own). Then you'd only be gambling interest on the 30K - you'd probably win a bit with this holding, though.

All for now,

Paul

Tuesday 8th July

I saw Mam today in the RVI forabout one hour. I was told that the CT scan had not detected any change (had there been a previous one?). Mam was to be moved later in the afternoon to the Cragside Unit. I wasn't myself sure she really understood this.

Is it reasonable to assume that Mam is not returning to the house? If so, then a number of things need to be considered:

1. Telephone bill
   Should we change the name on the account for the remainder of the period of occupancy?
2. Utilities
   We should contact NPower so that Mam's direct debit payments to them can be stopped.
3. Box Clever
   Mam is paying about £9 a month for rental of a washing machine. Perhaps this should be cancelled now - though if a sale is achieved within a couple of months, we could cancel once the house is sold.
4. Television sets
   I think we only have two of these in the house - both operating from Mam's free TV licence. The portable should be got rid of (this might be easiest by simply placing in the back lane, wrapped in clear plastic. Perhaps we should also offload the larger one in the front room.
5. Council Tax
   Mam will no longer be utilising council services. The forms should be filled in again - but when?
6. The Care Alarm people should be informed because we are currently paying £300 a month for a service that she will not need. Will she require this at the Little Sisters? I'm not sure whether Mam would even use the device. On Saturday it was me who had to press the button.
7. There's an old copper boiler still in the bathroom. It wasn't taken away when the Combi-Boiler was fitted four years ago. I think the price of certain metals has risen. Perhaps this could be taken away and sold (it'd be hard work removing, however).

Paul

House clearance

I have been in touch with the Sue Ryder shop in Wallsend who often
take good quality furniture. They can send someone out next Tuesday 15th
July to take a look at a couple of things I've been wanting to remove
for a while. These are in the top deck and are a dressing table
and a art-deco style set of drawers - neither of which is used.
I am assuming no-one else wants these.

Is there anything else we can immediately think of which we think Sue Ryder
may take? Possibly that small sofa-bed in the upper lounge? I'd also
be happy for them to take the bed in the top deck seeing as I usually
sleep on the floor.

I noticed that the "hot" taps in the top deck no longer seem to
be pumping out any water. What is the most likely reason for this?
To my knowledge, this hot water source is quite separate from the
main hot water system in the house and, what is more, I don't think
it was ever used - I'm pretty sure Marianne never took baths up
there when she occupied the place.

In fact the whole top deck attic conversion is almost certainly not
safe - it was converted by the house's previous owner before the
change in legislation governing attic conversions.

Monday 7th July

Went in today just after 2pm. Found Mam looking very unhappy, confused
and distressed. I don't think she's eating much - say's the food she was
given wasn't nice.

I took in the knickers that I'd bought (size 12?), toothbrushes, wet wipes,
tissues and some ribena which we shared. And another blouse and nightie - but she's still wearing the nightie she put on yesterday.

When I was there, I spoke to the nurse on duty who told me that Mam was getting a CT scan later in the day. After that, there'll be some kind of assessment of where she goes next. She suggested the Care for the Elderly ward.

She asked for a cross - either that or she meant the rosary beads. I'd actually
brought these with us on Saturday but inadvertently brought them back home yesterday as they'd been stuffed in a laundry bag.

She's obviously bored there, too. I suggested buying a paper and when I proposed the Journal, she said to get the Evening Chronicle, given the time of day it was. That was quite encouraging - you have to appreciate little chinks of light like this.
Just like in the General on Saturday when she looked at the clock on the wall and
said 'Five past eight, is that the time?'.

Not much else to say now, really. I need a rest myself.

I also passed them a card with all our contact telephone numbers on.

After seeing Mam today

Sunday 2.00pm
I took Mam in some clean knickers, nighties, two cardies and two blouses. Plus spectacles, a paper, her book, holder for her false teeth and Steradent. She and the nurse were very grateful for the knickers - the ones from theprevious day must be in quite a state. Mam was being taken from the Emergency Assessment ward to Ward 43 where shewas placed in Bay 4. She has a catheter connected to her.

She seemed a lot happier once she was changed into the fresh clothesbut also seemed confused as to her whereabouts. She kept mentioning AuntieMarjorie and saying she was in there, too. Is this the case? It's possible that Mam may think that she is in the Little Sisters. It was probablyaround 2.30 to 2.45 when I left.

The nurse chatted to me and told me to phone the social worker therecalled Helen Harvey tomorrow morning. I don't know how much I can say which would present a consensus among ourselves. I - and others - DO think that the house should be sold to finance Mam's future care. However, I willrequire support (i.e. help) from Janet and Francis on this.

I bought two packs of knickers in M&S for Mam. Not sure about her size so I got packs in 12 and 14.

I have to post this now. My leg is playing up and I'm hungry.

Resurrection of blog

Mam had a nasty fall yesterday morning. A paramedic came to take a look, took blood pressure readings and temperature. No immediate signs of breakages but recommended GP look at her on Monday. In the meantime, if she were to take a turn for the worse, we were to call again.

In the mid-afternoon (after the women's tennis final) she started calling out. I went down to her and found her very distressed. She said she was feeling unwell (she'd hardly touched her dinner) and was pointing to her upper chest. I called the paramedics again and gave Mam 300mg of aspirin as instructed over the phone.

The medics came and decided to take Mam into A & E. We were at the General for about 7+ hours during which time she had a blood test and an X-ray. Then she was taken to the emergency assessment ward in the Leazes Wing of the RVI which we reached I'd say well after 11pm. After she was checked in - looking a lot happier, I'd say - I came home.
Apparently she will be assessed today and possibly sent on somewhere else - the doctor to whom I spoke even suggested the Freeman.

I got home after midnight. No signs then of cat having made a mess (that was after he came in this morning - I am popping a note through Gerry's door).

Mam's brown bag was here - so it was never missing. I was careful not to make any false allegations at the hospital because I was never sure that it had left the house.

Apart from that I shall phone the hospital soon and visit her this afternoon.

We must get things sorted.