Point to note

It's around 2.15pm and the phone was ringing downstairs for quite some time. I was unable to answer it due to my present condition - it being, lying on the floor with my pants around my ankles with a TENS machine plugged into my backside.

If it was one of you, you should have perhaps tried my mobile which is closer to hand. The number is 07974818030

There is a bag of clean clothes for Mam in the kitchen. It's a costcutter bag containing:

• four pairs of knickers
• Two nighties
• One white cotton blouse (ironed, too)
• One pair of socks
• A vest belonging to the Cragside Ward

Can somebody come along to collect it, please?

Also I discovered this morning that the vacuum cleaner downstairs (Morphy Richards one) no longer seems to have any suction. I have placed this in the back garage pending removal by envirocall. I hoovered the kitchen floor using the better Electrolux vacuum cleaner from upstairs.

Is anyone actually reading this?

Paul